Are you or someone you know being abused by a partner?
If you answered yes, there are supports and services available. You aren’t alone. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
Intimate partner violence, sometimes called spousal or domestic violence, is abuse and intimidation by one person against a current – or former – intimate partner. It can impact people of all genders and ages, and all socioeconomic, racial, educational, ethnic, religious and cultural backgrounds. This type of abuse can happen in many types of relationships, including:
- in a marriage, common-law or dating relationship, and
- in a cis heterosexual or LGBTQ2 (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer and Two-Spirit) relationship.
Abuse can also occur whether or not partners live together or are sexually intimate with one another. It can also happen at any time during a relationship and even after it has ended.
Intimate partner violence is rooted in a relationship of dominance where the abuser often tries to control their partner. The abuse can be a single act or a series of acts that make a pattern of abuse.
Abusive partners can harass, intimidate, humiliate, isolate, emotionally blackmail, threaten, and become physically or sexually violent. They may also control their partner’s income and finances, and restrict who they socialize with and where they go, as a way to take away their independence. Intimate partner violence can take on many forms of abuse, including:
- physical,
- verbal,
- emotional,
- psychological,
- sexual,
- financial,
- spiritual (using a person’s spiritual beliefs to control, dominate or manipulate them), and
- cyberviolence (using technology to cause virtual or in-person harm including observing and listening to a person or tracking their location, to scare, intimidate or humiliate them.)
It can be difficult to recognize intimate partner violence because many of the people who are abusive toward their partner – or former partner – aren’t violent outside of this intimate relationship. The abusers are often successful, good colleagues and friendly neighbours.
Some of the signs to watch out for an abuser include:
- Do they constantly criticize their partner?
- Do they belittle their partner’s relationships or forbid them to see family or friends?
- Do they control their partner’s activities or what they wear, or make fun of their physical appearance or sexual performance?
- Do they threaten suicide if their partner were to leave, or use their children to get to their partner?
- Do they have unexplained bruises, cuts, marks or scars?
Some of the signs to watch out for a victim include:
- Do they have unexplained bruises, cuts, marks or scars?
- Do they have excuses for their partners’ behaviour?
- Do they seem fearful or nervous of their partner or need to check in frequently?
If you are being abused
If your partner is hurting you, there are people who care and services available to help you right away.
- If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
- It’s OK to leave your home if that is the safest thing to do. You can contact a transition house, domestic violence outreach worker, second stage housing or crisis line in your area. Click here for a detailed list of these services in New Brunswick.
- Click here for information about Staying Safer (EVO), a free app that connects women in New Brunswick with services and other information about safety planning when they are leaving an unhealthy relationship or living in a violent one.
- Click here for a directory of services available to people living in First Nations communities who have experienced abuse.
- The police can help you even if it isn’t an emergency. Officers can help you find the services you need.
- If you need more help to stay safe, Emergency Intervention Orders are court orders that you can apply for in urgent and serious situations. Click here and see below for more information on Emergency Intervention Orders.
The law
New Brunswick passed a law, the Intimate Partner Violence Intervention Act, in 2018 to provide civil non-criminal protections for people who are experiencing intimate partner violence when their situation is serious and urgent. This law permits people experiencing intimate partner violence to apply for Emergency Intervention Orders. These orders may contain a variety of temporary provisions to enhance the safety of someone who is experiencing this type of abuse. Those provisions may include:
- the temporary right for one partner to stay in the family home while the other partner must move out,
- temporary exclusive possession of personal property (including pets),
- the removal of firearms,
- and no contact.
Click here to learn more about how to apply for an Emergency Intervention Order.
Click here for more information about how recent law changes, including to the Residential Tenancies Act, in New Brunswick have removed some of the barriers that prevent some people from leaving an abusive situation.
If someone you know is being abused
It isn’t a private matter when someone is being abused by a partner. There are ways for friends, family, neighbours and colleagues to help. Your support is important: let them know you care and will listen without judgement. Understand that it takes courage to talk about these experiences. There is often shame, humiliation and fear around speaking about violence.
To help someone experiencing abuse by a partner:
- believe in them, listen and respect their privacy,
- help them make a plan for their safety (Click here for information about safety planning.),
- tell them about the services available to help them in their community (Click here for a list of outreach support and shelters), and
- respect their right to make decisions about their life when they are ready.
Click here for more information about how to help someone who is experiencing intimate partner violence.
More resources
- Click here for information about employment leaves that can apply to victims of domestic and intimate partner violence.
- Click here to visit the website for It’s Your Business – A DIPV (domestic and intimate partner violence) Workplace Toolkit.
- Click here for a list of resources around the law and help available for people impacted by intimate partner violence from the Public Legal Education and Information Service of New Brunswick (PLEIS).
- Click here for information on PLEIS’ Safer Families.. Safer Communities campaign.
- Click here for resources from Status of Women Canada.
- Click here to visit the website for Love Shouldn’t Hurt, a campaign to end intimate partner violence.
Disclaimer
Intimate partner violence can occur in all relationship types and can affect people of all genders. While this behaviour can be directed at male victims, the majority of victims of this type of abuse are women, and men tend to more commonly be the abusive partner. Many services listed for victims of intimate partner violence are for female victims unless otherwise stated.
